The World's Most Interesting Craps Player

Discussion in 'Advanced Craps' started by The Comeback Kid, Sep 7, 2013.

  1. The Comeback Kid, Sep 7, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    He was going to be born earlier: but indicators were not favorable.
    When he goes to sleep the stock market plunges 43 points; until he awakens for a roaring surge.

    He once built a whole town from discarded craps notebooks. Today 50,000 people live there.
    By doing the math, he has the answer; days before the question is even conceived.

    His expenses exceed the gross national product of Tobago; yet he still posts a modest profit.

    In the case of a major attack, secret service is instructed to save him; before the President.
    His other car; is a spaceship.
    As an infant he learned to walk; doing the electric slide

    The actual pen used in his first live craps session is on display at the Smithsonian; beating out the moon rock in popularity.
    He plays the 12 bar blues; in a major key.

    Guinness Book of World Records has him playing the doey/don’t; for 7 days, 13 hours, and 27 minutes.
    He then recorded his 1000th win; placing the winning $5 bet on the field.
    Gleeful well-wishers applauded; then went to watch paint dry.

    “What you have heard about me; is all true. I am in fact, the World’s Most Interesting Craps player".
    "It is true that I once had to cut short my standup comedy routine, as some in the audience were dying of laughter.
    Luckily I was able to apply the doey/don’t CPR procedure and all indicators remain positive for a full recovery by early fall 2017.”

    I don’t always gamble, but when I do, I prefer Craps.
    Roll well my friends.

    Imported by crapsforum.com
    Play responsibly
     
    #1
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  2. jkluv7, Sep 9, 2013

    jkluv7

    jkluv7 Member

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    CK - as always, hilarious !!!! Thanks for the posts !
    Jeffrey
     
    #2
  3. $nakeEye$, Sep 9, 2013

    $nakeEye$

    $nakeEye$ Member

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    The Comeback Kid -

    I read your discourse that I quoted , below -

    I only have 1 question for you -

    And , honestly , after serious consideration -

    I can only present it in this manner -

    " Do you play with your self regularly -

    OR is it just my imagination that you do " ?

    $...eE..$


     
    #3
  4. The Comeback Kid, Sep 9, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    It is true, what I have learned about self-love has spewed forth from the teachings of the world’s most interesting craps player.
    On a hand by hand basis, I can attest; that the strategy does work.
    However, it didn’t come easily. It took years of endurance. I had to change my beating habits.

    For the Newbies out there, I caution against going in aggressive at first.
    I know you’ll feel engorged by the thrill of it all, but trust me here; it’s best to watch and observe, until you get the hang of it.
    I usually play between 1 and 3 hours depending on variables such as...air in the inflatable, sufficient battery power.

    But I never leave myself too exposed. Nah, it’s about being fluid and observing the trends.
    If my lay isn’t there I’ll switch to cum bets exclusively.
    I’ve been known to even get glassy-eyed during a session.
    Patterns develop, colors weave in/out, images float in my mind; a soft meadow; sheep grazing.
    I track them for full effect which adds to the overall experience.

    I know there are naysays out there, but let’s be clear, it doesn’t mean I’m successful with each hand.
    Historical data shows, the way to get a-head is to patiently wait for appropriate indicators.
    they point the way to that surging “win” we all love - of course, hedging against any potential side effects such as blindness, and/or wrist lock.

    Believe me; no session is a sure shot, but I’m improving each time, and that’s what matters.
    I’ve had 1,000,004 successful “wins” to date – and counting.
    Yeah, I know - pretty good, but like any wannabe expert; I’m never satisfied and always improving my techniques.

    The words of our dear leader ring true for me today, as they did when I first heard them; “If you can’t love yourself, how can you love others”?

    Youjust can’t beat it, really.

    Roll well my friends “The Cumback Kid”
     
    #4
  5. basicstrategy777, Sep 9, 2013

    basicstrategy777

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    #5
  6. $nakeEye$, Sep 9, 2013

    $nakeEye$

    $nakeEye$ Member

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    ComeBackKid -

    :) -

    You missed your true calling -

    Politics OR Fiction Writing ! ;-)

    Extremely well versed and entertaining !


    $...eE..$
     
    #6
  7. The Comeback Kid, Sep 10, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    It's official.
    The key ingredient we've been missing, or some of us have.

    You go to the table at you're own risk, without this critical component.
    It's made a big difference in my game - I can tell you that.
    "The Cumback Kid"

    http://on.wsj.com/1dmz4B8?mod=wsj_video_email
     
    #7
  8. Harry Smith, Sep 11, 2013

    Harry Smith

    Harry Smith Member

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    I love rollin the bones and have made serious gain$ by setting dice before i throw and with a certian backswing 3 finger on front thumb in back. everybody has their superstitions in gambling and I certainly have mine here are my dice sets that I use 100% i never bet on a roll if I'm not rolling. also I only play right which means I pay less to make more instead of playing wrong or (the dont) paying double to win half. I play pass line and will play odds bet ONLY on 4 & 10 Here are my dice sets

    4 & 10 (die 1, 6 on top, 4 facing you) (die 2, 4 on top, 6 facing you) now if you flip it back and look at the numbers around you have 4 and 10 inside and outside and over the top

    5 & 9 (die 1, 5 on top, 4 facing you( (die 2, 4 on top, 5 facing you) now you if you flip it back you got 5 & 9 over the top and facing you

    6 & 8 my favorite set or what i call the "flying v" (die 1, 3 on top, 5 facing you) (die 2, 3 on top, 1 facing you) now if you look at the 2 3's on top they are in a V patterson and if you flip it back you have 6 & 8 on all sides, inside and outside

    7 & 11 (the come out set) (die 1, 6 on top, 3 facing you) (die 2, 1 on top, 4 facing you) now if you roll it back you got 7 & 11 on all sides, inside and outside)
     
    #8
  9. mycoalsmith, Sep 12, 2013

    mycoalsmith

    mycoalsmith Member

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    But SnakeEyes, if he would have gone with Politics or Fiction Writing, we wouldn't have him here on this forum. I realize he's very witty and funny and look forward to his posts. Even Obie1 doesn't seem to mind the ribbing ComeBackKid has given him. ComeBackKid, you are VERY creative!!
     
    #9
  10. The Comeback Kid, Sep 13, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    SCENES FROM LAST EPISODE WITH VOICE OVER:
    The riveting drama of security expert Burt coming to the rescue of his beloved boss Bob choking on a sloppy joe,
    with Alice to the rescue, while the Note Book Gang is up to their dastardly deeds on the casino floor.

    Brought to you by Depends – when you just can’t leave the craps table, discreet fluid home delivery available

    SECENE ll: OPEN TO SURVEILIANCE ROOM OF SMOKEM PAYBACK INDICAN CASINO
    POV: Wide angle ALICE BUSTS INTO ROOM BENDING TO ATTEND TO BOB AS HE CHANGES SHADES OF BLUE.
    ALICE: OH my goodness, this doesn’t look good. Burt, call 911! (FRANTIC)
    ALICE APPLYS CPR WHILE BURT NOTICES ALICE’S CLEAVAGE PONDERING AUTHENTICITY

    CAMERA 2: FRAME BURT DIALING 911 (SLOWLY)
    EMERGENCY PHONE CLICKS
    911 WOMAN: This is 911 what’s your emergency, please?
    BURT: Send paramedics to Smokem Indian Casino STAT! We have a 3-14 in progress.
    911 WOMAN: Who is this, and what’s a 3-14?
    BURT: It’s a seizure, ma’am. (IMPRESSED WITH HIS COMMAND & OR CONTROL)
    BURT (CONTINUING): My name is Burt, head of...I mean Security Assistant 1st Class. Come quick!
    (FRAUDIAN SLIP FELT GOOD)

    CAMERA 1: WIDE ANGLE
    ALICE GRABS PHONE FROM BURT
    ALICE: This is Alice from Accounting, Our Chief of Security Bob, has had another seizure.
    911: Alice. How’s his condition?
    ALICE (CONTINUING) I was able to stabilize him and his breathing is returning but he still looks blue.
    911 WOMAN: How many seizures has he had, now?
    ALICE: That makes this; a baker’s dozen.

    CUT TO BOB MUTTERING TO HIMSELF
    BOB: ahhh Scoblete....the Dominator....ahhh

    PAN UP TO BURT & ALICE (CONCERNED)
    BURT: What is he muttering? (CURIOUS IF BOB’S BOSOMS COULD MATCH HER’S)
    BURT (CONTINUING); those names; mmm you think this was an attempted mob hit? (STROKING CHIN)
    ALICE: Maybe, or he bought his sandwich from Scobletta’s Purveyor of Fine Italian Meats downstairs from Joey Dedominator.
    They’re a YouTube sensation. 1-800-EAT-MEAT
    ALICE (CONTINUING): But obviously he’s delirious (CRADLING BOB, WIPING BROW, HUMMING)

    BURT NODDING IN ARGREEMENT, ALTHOUGH HE HAD A STRANGE FEELING HE’D HEARD THOSE NAMES BEFORE. PONDERING
    SUDDENLY - BURT GLACES AT MONITOR, HIS MOUTH DROPS IN HORROR! OH NO! THE HUMANITY!

    SOMETHING APPEARING TO BE CRAPS NOTEBOOK PAGE, CAUGHT ONTO PIT BOSS’ COMPUTER STATION HALOGEN SPOT LIGHT,
    SMOKE BELLOWING, FIRE, FLAMES, ALICE JUMPS TO HER FEET, JOINS BURT IN LOOK OF TERROR, ALARMS GO OFF, CHAOS,
    CRACK FLOOR SECURITY PERSONNEL ON SCENE, BUMPING INTO EACH OTHER, OVERUSING FIRE EXTINQUISHERS,
    MAKING PROBLEM WORSE, PANDAMONIUM (DISSOLVE)

    CUT TO CASINO FLOOR
    FORLORNED HARMONICA IN BACKGROUND, DUST BALL ROLLING ACROSS ILSE

    (CUT TO DEPENDS COMMERCIAL)

    To be continued
     
    #10
  11. The Comeback Kid, Sep 19, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    If you spontaneously start feeling good; it means he’s within a 100 mile radius.
    Women want to be with him; men forget it – there’s no hope to be like him (or vice versa)

    He’s a naturalist at heart which makes sense; because he’s too sexy for his pants

    He doesn’t rush; time waits for him.

    He built his house on a golf course.
    The 7th tee begins in his living room, through the back parlor and out the gazebo.

    He begins his mornings by dropping a double shot espresso into a quart of black tea with a red bull chaser;
    just to keep up with his energy.

    His all year-round tan is so good; they’ve asked him to host this year’s BET awards.

    He owes his silky smooth skin to a weekly Jacuzzi bath ritual; consisting of Himalayan salts, eucalyptus,
    and condensed orangutan breast milk.

    He’s designed the perfect doey/don’t car.
    It runs grindingly slow, yet a high performance; 4 speed neutral

    His football razzle-dazzle’s so masterful; the camera invariably follows the wrong action.
    Sunflowers follow him through the fields, as cows moo in 4 part harmony to the beat of “glory halleluiah”.

    “What you have heard about me; is all true. I am in fact, the World’s Most Interesting Craps player.
    It is true that digital footage from a recent performance was appropriated by the CIA, leaked to the KGB;
    ending up in North Korea being enjoyed by our dear leader Kim Jung Un & Dennis Rodman;
    over Cuban cigars and cherry lemonade vodka.”

    I don’t always gamble, but when I do, I prefer Craps.
    Roll well my friends.

    Imported by crapsforum.com
    Play responsibly
     
    #11
  12. Dragline, Sep 20, 2013

    Dragline

    Dragline Member

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    Shoot well, my friends. But only use one hand.
     
    #12
  13. The Comeback Kid, Sep 22, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    Both Russia & the USA have embraced the wisdom of doey/don’t; finally peace in our time.

    His methods are required study at both Homeland Security, the Culinary Institute; and Comedy Central

    During the great flood of ’72, rafts were built from his old craps notebooks; which kept a grateful town afloat for days.

    Kernels begin popping when he walks through a Nebraska corn field; he’s so hot.

    Frequently asked is he, to join the X-Factor to critique; Simon Cowell’s performance

    He is so business savvy; he’ll be hosting this year’s G4 summit; from his swimming pool.

    It is true that at the world cup finals he once performed a bicycle kick; on a bicycle.

    He did lose a staring contest to an owl, until the bird was disqualified; for being stuffed

    “What you have heard about me; is all true. I am in fact, the World’s Most Interesting Craps player.

    It is true that my prodigious Cayman Account began with a scandal inside the Virgin Islands.
    Of course the 3 patron saints of the Caribbean; St. Thomas, Martin, and Lucia were aghast upon learning of the sordid affair.
    (It’s a good thing they didn’t find out about the beach ménage with Dominica & Martinique)
    Anyway, they threatened to cut off my Caracas and ship me off to Barbados.
    But upon discovering my shorts in Bermuda, and my alibi held up of having been with lovely Bahama Mama,
    well what could they do.
    Order was restored; all forgiven toasting steins of Jamaican Rum and platters of delicious Turks & Caicos.”

    I don’t always gamble, but when I do, I prefer Craps.
    Roll well my friends.

    Imported by crapsforum.com
    Play responsibly
     
    #13
  14. The Comeback Kid, Sep 24, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    I’ve designed a new strategy to the game of craps which I’m very excited about.
    I feel it has huge potential. I call it “Patterns”.
    I know what you’re thinking, but trust me, this is for real. Here’s how it works.


    Before engaging, observe the action with a sketch pad. Track it carefully. The point’s a nine. The puck is moved to the nine.
    Draw a circle on the page, darken it. A player makes a come bet. It moves to the 5.
    Draw a second adjacent circle, but don’t darken this one.
    If another come bet is placed between the 9 and 5 we have a nose and the beginnings of a pirate’s face.
    Draw it out on your sketch pad. That’s an indicator! It’s going to be a steal. Go for the bootie!
    Now make a $1000 bet on the field for the mouth. Next roll will be a 12. WINNER! Shiver me timbers.

    It took me years of endurance to figure out “Patterns”. I used to be a chronic loser.
    Like a blind man at a urinal, my performance lacked purpose and direction.
    Now with “Patterns” I can see the configurations develop right before my eyes with pinpoint accuracy.
    It’s fun and easy; an approach that anybody can do - even the pictorially challenged.

    Let’s try it again. The points a 10 and the puck moves to the end. Now wait.
    Invariably somebody will place $44 inside; you begin to see a pattern coming into focus. What is it?
    Yes, there it is; an elephant! That’s your trigger. It’s going to be a win of pachydermian proportions.
    Now make a $500 yoh bet in the lower center for the feet. Wow it looks like he’s dancing - 6/5. WINNER!
    See how much fun this is?

    Question: does Patterns work well for table evaluation.
    That’s a very good question, and it deserves an equally good answer. You-betcha!


    Let say you walk up to a table at the casino. What have you got?
    You’ve got a dealer on either side of a sitting pit boss, another at the computer, with a woman at the stick.
    Now look closer. What pattern develops? Wait....there it is. You see it.
    It’s really a dealer on lead guitar; the other’s playing base, the pit boss - drums, one’s on piano,
    with Stevie Nicks at the stick – Fleetwood Mac. That’s an indicator! It’s a landslide table. Go for it.

    If the crew looks like Kiss with pyrotechnics going off, you may want to choose a different table.

    I know there will be naysayers out there asking dumb questions such as; have you won with it yet?
    My answer is yes/no, well maybe.
    You see, I’ve learned from The Most Interesting Craps Player that reality is perception and it’s only a loss; if you think it is.


    Anyway, you must be willing to adjust your approach, and for that reason Patterns isn’t for everybody.
    But you’re welcome to come watch it in action to see for yourself.
    I’ll be playing at the Smokem Payback Indian Casino.
    We’re confident you will recognize the amazing power of Patterns.

    Operators are standing by. So call now – 1-800-Pattern. Order your “Patterns” today for only $79.95.
    Comes complete with 2 pencils sketch pad & handy guide of suggested patterns.
    Why go for those exorbitantly priced strategies in the thousands of dollars, that only leave you scratching your head?

    Order Patterns while supplies last. With Christmas approaching they make great stocking stuffers.
    Get one for the entire family. The kids will love ”˜em. Even grandma will get a kick out of it – look kids pattern cookies!

    But don’t believe me; listen to these satisfied customers; “before patterns I just didn’t know what the hell was happening at the table.
    But last session was a hard fought victory. Because of Patterns, I saw a reenactment of the Allied invasion of Normandy!

    But wait there’s more. If you order today we’ll send you these matching 3D glasses.
    Now you can see the patterns develop right before your eyes - in 3D! How great is that! Use them where ever you go.
    They’re especially handy for driving. “Whoa, that 10-wheeler looks like it’s coming right at us; awesome”.

    Sold exclusively over the web, from somewhere outside the continental US just beyond the reach of the FBI.
    Return Policy: Sure, what are you kidding me, get outta here.
    Void where prohibited.
     
    #14
  15. jkluv7, Sep 24, 2013

    jkluv7

    jkluv7 Member

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    OMG !! This is great !! I tried it out on WINCRAPS and it WORKS ! I won over $2,000 !!! I called the number and ordered 5 sets for myself so I don't run out of pencils or paper. I am so excited. I told all my friends and they each bought one. Everyone must buy this PATTERN betting system TODAY ! I will get some of my friends to join the forum and post their thoughts on the PATTERN SYSTEM. The price is going up in December to $99.95, so get yours today !
    Thanks for coming up and sharing the newest and best winning craps SYSTEM ever sold on this forum.
    I am all giddy just waiting for my package to arrive !!
    Jeffrey
     
    #15
  16. The Comeback Kid, Sep 30, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    SCENES FROM LAST EPISODE WITH VOICE OVER:
    The continuing saga of security expert Burt, watching with Alice from accounting as the horror unfolds on the monitor.
    The table area where the Note Book Gang had just been playing is engulfed in flames on the casino floor.

    Brought to you by Depends – when you just can’t leave the craps table, discreet fluid home delivery available

    CUT TO SMOLDERING EMPTY CRAPS TABLE ON CASINO FLOOR, THE STRATEGY GANG HAS VANISHED
    PAN WIDE
    BURT JOINED BY GIRLGFRIED FLOUSIE MALLOY
    BURT: Wow they cleaned us out every chip, gone
    BURT (CONTINUING) Look they even took the toke box (SADDENED)
    FLOUSIE: I can’t understand it. I gave them all defective pens. (SHAKING HEAD)
    BURT: They even took the puck, the stick as well. (FASCINATED)
    BURT (CONTINUING): All they left were a few on/off stickers (EXAMINING IN HAND)

    BROKEN TABLE MIN/MAX WINDOW LIGHT SPUTTERS
    BURT: Hey can I ask you a question. You ever heard of Scoblete & the Dominator?
    FLOUSIE: Listen I don’t follow that wrestling stuff (ANNOYED LOOKING AROUND)
    BURT: You know the WWF is real Flu, but that’s not the point.
    BURT: Wait, weren’t they at Woodstock; Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Scoblete?
    BURT: (CONTINUING): I think the Dominator played drums?

    CUT WIDE SCREEN
    SUDDENLY THEY NOTICE A CARD ON THE RAIL. BURT GOES TO PICK IT UP. FLU GRABS ARM.
    FLOUSIE: Hold on big fella
    FLU OPENS PURSE (COACH) TAKES OUT TWEEZER (JOHNSON & JOHNSON) LIFTS CARD
    FLOUSIE: This is evidence. Be careful.
    BURT WONDERS WHO THE HELL HIS GIRLFRIEND REALLY IS
    BURT: Flu, who are you, really?
    FLOUSIE: It would be better for you, if I did not tell you.

    CAMERA 2: ZOOM, FOCUS ONTO CARD
    “Nice try, suckers I never forget to bring spare pens and yes I wear BOTH boxers and briefs.
    Always prepared! – “The World’s Most Interesting Craps Player” Roll well my friends.

    CUT TO DEPENDS COMMERCIAL

    to be continued...
     
    #16
  17. The Comeback Kid, Oct 2, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    They’ve asked him to return for this year’s Teen Miss America pageant; as a bikini inspector.

    Where is he now? What is he doing? Keep calm there’s an app for that.

    The weather channel has him on speed dial. If he’s sad, there’s a good chance of rain.
    If he’s happy the day will be bright sunshine. If a morning shower occurs with a chance of a smile - rainbows


    He is the gold standard; with a silver lining, wrapped in a titanium shell around a creamy nugget center.

    When cracking an egg, 2 yolks there will always be; one for him, one for his avatar

    If a swat team has just broken down your front door, and your best friend is dead in front of you,
    smoke billows from the bathroom, the naked woman on the bed you’ve just had sex with is his wife,
    there’s a valise of cash & drugs worth several million dollars in one hand & a loaded berretta in the other;
    and this is not a movie - call him.

    If you’re tired, grouchy, cranky, crabby, ornery, irritable, on the rag & in the dumps – just think of him.

    No mountain is too high for him to climb, if it were; an avalanche would lower it on the opposite side

    He plays a zero sum game; the aggregate of all gains balanced against the cumulative losses,
    equals the full effect of the debt ceiling, in conjunction with gains you’ll never hear from us,
    increasing exponentially, compounding simple interest daily at a rate amassed to the 4th power; totaling the sum of all fears.

    Once finding himself stranded in the desert; he survived against the harsh elements; by wrapping himself in old craps notebooks

    He invented the phrase; 6 of one, ½ dozen of another, which is why he’s never wrong.

    He keeps in robust shape; by watching others exercise.

    Money does grow on trees, there’s one in his back yard; near the burning bush.

    “What you have heard about me; is all true. I am in fact, the World’s Most Interesting Craps player.
    It is true that at Starbucks while deciding upon Skim, Whole, Soy, or Half n Half,
    I discovered why men have nipples. However, you may not be ready to hear it."

    I don’t always gamble, but when I do, I prefer Craps.
    Roll well my friends.

    Imported by crapsforum.com
    Play responsibly
     
    #17
  18. The Comeback Kid, Oct 6, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    If you were gambling in Havana, and held up in Honduras,
    because you went home with a waitress, not knowing she was with the Russians too,
    and the lawyers, guns, and money dad sent, are going around baggage claim turnstile #14,
    in the Port of Algeciras; you should’ve remembered dad’s diminished hearing - and called HIM.

    If you come home early from being laid off due to the Government shut down,
    only to find your 10yr old son busy in the basement making Meth from watching too many “Breaking Bad” episodes,
    and he tells you to walk carefully back up the stairs “cause this whole place could blow”,
    while your teenaged daughter informs you she’s pregnant but assures it’s not gang related this time,
    and the message on the frig is from your wife informing that she’s leaving with the UPS driver,
    and who knew she was lesbian, but has graciously put a roast in the oven,
    only to find it’s mistakenly the last and only friend you had left in the world; the family dog – call HIM.


    If you find yourself stranded outside your space module in the movie “Gravity”
    with a major debris storm descending, and no fuel to outrun it,
    and you start to feel the Beef Chow Fun you ate earlier is now Not So Fun,
    and that look of terror on Sandra Bullock & George Clooney’s face is starting to annoy you;
    don’t adjust your 3D glasses – just call HIM.

    If your mom is cyberbullying you, and she says, “What are ya, gonna do, run home to your mama”?
    And you think, wow; she’s got me – nah, just call HIM.

    “What you have heard about me; is all true. I am in fact, the World’s Most Interesting Craps player.
    It is true that the system I discovered goes far beyond a mere game of chance.
    It is, in fact, a portal to the hidden secrets of the universe.
    But caution I must use, for the unleashing of such phenomenal power could disrupt
    the delicate energy balance of the cosmos.

    So you see this "strategy" is a gift and a curse at the same time,
    of which, I and only I; must gladly accept.
    Problems that once seemed insurmountable now fall faster than bird droppings in a pigeon coop, or
    a hooker’s panties on payday at the mine.

    So, operators are standing by; call 1-800-diceprofit – when failure is no longer an option.
    I don’t always gamble, but when I do, I prefer Craps.

    Roll well my friends.

    Imported by crapsforum.com
    Play responsibly
     
    #18
  19. mycoalsmith, Oct 6, 2013

    mycoalsmith

    mycoalsmith Member

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    You are killing us, The Comeback Kid!!! I'm guessing when you went to school you did very well in creative writing? Kudos!
     
    #19
  20. The Comeback Kid, Oct 11, 2013

    The Comeback Kid

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    SCENES FROM LAST EPISODE WITH VOICE OVER:
    The continuing saga of security expert Burt, with girlfriend Flousie investigating the suspicious nature surrounding the fire & the Strategy Gang.

    Brought to you by Depends –
    when it’s your turn to shoot and you just can’t leave the craps table, discreet fluid home delivery available,
    because nobody needs to know you're losing it.


    SCENE lV OPENS INSIDE OFFICE OF CHIEF HEAD OF SECURITY AT SMOKEM PAYBACK INDICAN CASINO,
    BOB, BURT, & FLUSIE IN ATTENDENCE HOVERING OVER SECURITY MONITOR AS THE TAPE ROLLS JUST PRIOR TO FIRE

    BURT: Look nobody’s shooting except that one guy. They keep passing the dice to him.
    FLOUSIE: The Strategy gang never shoots. They employ an elaborate betting strategy charting each roll,
    recording the results, and then bet accordingly when indicators are favorable.
    They’ve been on our radar for years.
    BURT: Flu, we’ve got to talk. Are you my tax dollars at work? Are you CIA?
    BOB: So nobody shoots? That's very interesting. (SQINTING)
    FLOUSIE: It’s a new way of playing that’s sweeping the country.
    FLOUSIE (CONTINUE) they’re successful, too successful. They're our nation's #1 priority
    We must catch them before they start putting casinos out of business.
    Their identities are perfectly hidden by those identical black hoodies.
    BURT (CONTINUING) Looks like a rappers séance (MAKING RAPPER’S SIGN)
    BOB: Why don't we just check their player's card?
    FLOUSIE: That's not so easy. They use assumed names like "World's Most Interesting Craps Player"

    BOB: Yeah, but someone’s shooting. There go the dice! (CUT TO MONITOR; DICE THROWN ACROSS TABLE)
    BURT: Wait a minute. Go back, zoom in here. Those aren’t hands, but feet, of a....
    Holy bat dung Robin - that’s a bird! (MUSIC FROM HICTCHOCKS “THE BIRDS”)

    ZOOM TO MONITOR: SOME KIND OF LARGE BIRD PURCHED ON TABLE RAILING,
    WEARING BLACK HOODIE BALANCING ON ONE DAINTY BIRD FOOT, OTHER GLUTCHES DICE WITH 3 CLAWED GRIP,
    THEN FLINGS DICE ACROSS TABLE NICE ARC, GENTLE BACKSPIN, SOFT LANDING.
    WINGS FLAP IN DELIGHT

    Now a word from our sponsor:
    CUT TO DEPENDS COMMERCIAL – when all that stands between you and disaster is a soft cotton padded latex adult diaper.
    Your shot may suck, but you can depend on DEPENDS!

    To be continued...
     
    #20