WIT and HUMOR trump criticism

Discussion in 'Offtopic Lounge' started by SevenOut, Aug 22, 2015.

  1. SevenOut, Aug 22, 2015

    SevenOut

    SevenOut Member

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    A website www.izmus.info has a running list of witty quotes concerning various forms of gambling. I picked a few gems, you can check out the rest:

    "If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough." /VP Pappy/

    "All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck - who keeps right on going - is the man who is there when the good luck comes - and is ready to receive it." /Robert Collier/

    "Don't get mad that you lost, get mad because you didn't win." /Michael Gersitz/

    "Gambling is not about how well you play the games, it's really about how Well you handle your money." /VP Pappy/

    "Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something." /Wilson Mizner/

    "How long does it take to learn poker, Dad?" "All your life, son." Michael Pertwee "The smarter you play, the luckier you'll be." /Mark Pilarski/

    "I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it." /Thomas Jefferson/

    "If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you." /Paul Newman/

    "It can be argued that man's instinct to gamble is the only reason he is still not a monkey up in the trees." /Mario Puzo/

    "Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people." /Samantha Bee/

    "Most casino patronsÂ’ view gambling as a mix of witchery, mysticism, entertainment and dumb luck. Very few view it the deadly game that it is." /VP Pappy/

    "Remember this: The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself." /Nicholas Dandalos/

    "Show me a wealthy gambler and I'll show you someone who has made his money from something other than gambling." /VP Pappy/

    "The majority of casino players leave too much to chance when playing in a casino. To put it bluntly, they don't have a clue as to how to play." /Henry Tamburin/

    "The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket." /Kin Hubbard/

    "Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom." /VP Pappy/

    "There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." /Jack Yelton/
     
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  2. SevenOut, Aug 22, 2015

    SevenOut

    SevenOut Member

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    Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster- Yugoslav proverb

    A gambler with a System must be, to a greater extent... insane. George Augustus Sala

    The only business in the world bigger than gambling is religion... but gambling is not nearly so corrupt. J. R. Miller

    In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there. Anonymous Casino Boss

    Stop cheating the dealer told the card player. I'm not claimed the player. You must be... said the dealer... that is not the hand I dealt you. Anonymous

    Suckers have no business with money anyway.- Canada Bill Jones

    I hope to break even this week. I need the money. Veteran Las Vegas Gambler
     
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  3. Onautopilot, Aug 23, 2015

    Onautopilot

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    The first time I went to Vegas, I stood there and said to myself, "Damn, I wonder who pays this light bill?". Several hours later, I had my answer. :)
     
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  4. bubba

    bubba Member

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    I figured out why the bathrooms are so far away from the craps table, they never want you to leave the table.
     
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  5. Dave G Ct, Aug 25, 2015

    Dave G Ct

    Dave G Ct Member

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    Is it true they pump oxygen the casino at night so you will not tire easily?
     
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  6. Onautopilot, Aug 25, 2015

    Onautopilot

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    I don't think so....they don't want anything to counter the effects of the "dumb spray mist" that you walked through as you came in the doors.
     
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